What does it mean to be size-inclusive?
Toward the end of the previous post I wrote about the time I unthinkingly asked a prospective client how much they weigh. They had asked about the working load limit on my massage table, presumably because they’ve run into that issue previously. I didn’t have that information, so I asked how much they weigh. Having always existed within the bounds of what is typically considered an “acceptable” size, this was a blind spot. What happened next was a swift correction:
“That’s kind of an intense question to be asked at a superfat person. Any specific number can hitch into people’s biases.”
Back in the days when I could only work outside.
I thanked them, because they took a chance on me by giving me the opportunity to learn. I had committed a not-so-micro aggression and they would have been well within their rights to end the interaction there. I am grateful that they didn’t because that interaction forced me to examine my own unconscious biases and how they manifest in my words, actions, and decisions.
Last year I had a new employee who told me she had never worked on fat or larger-bodied people before. I hadn’t really either, until one got on my table. It wasn’t discussed in massage school, and I’d never really thought about it. On the same day one of my long-term fat clients came in, so I asked her what it was about my bodywork that worked for her. She said,
“It’s not really about the bodywork, or your techniques. Don’t get me wrong, you’re an awesome massage therapist, but I come here because I know I won’t be judged.”
That’s the key.
Arm bolsters are a great way to make your table setup more comfortable for larger clients.
My branding and the way I represent myself online indicate that my business is size inclusive. In addition to using the phrase “body-neutral” and having a larger-bodied model featured in photos, I now also include a very important detail on my home page: the working load limit of my massage table, 1200 lbs. But, this isn’t enough. I can be totally non-judgmental and say all the right things, but words without taking practical steps are meaningless. Consider this scenario:
Frank sees all the right key words and imagery on my website and books a session: Great! They show up and I invite them to have a seat, but the only seating available has arms so they can’t sit comfortably, if at all, on account of their size. Or the only seating looks or feels flimsy and they can’t be comfortable for fear of potentially breaking the seat. It is immediately obvious that while I talk the talk and use the right pictures, I haven’t applied body-neutrality in practical ways. Let’s say we get past that discomfort, and we have the intake conversation standing up. I step out, they get on the table, and the blanket isn’t big enough. They spend the session anxious that the blanket will slip and they’ll be exposed. Or the table is too narrow, and they have to hold tension in their arms and shoulders to keep their arms from falling off the table. None of this makes for a relaxing session, and if they can’t relax, any benefit from my work is limited.
Principles without practical applications are meaningless. In the case of body-neutrality in the context of massage, the necessary action is to consider the needs of fat and larger-bodied folks when selecting furniture, equipment, and linens. IMEB has large sheets and blankets; sturdy, armless chairs; massage tables with high working load limits, and table accessories like arm bolsters that serve to support larger clients’ arms so they don’t fall off the table. Inclusive language and imagery are absolutely necessary, but insufficient. We have to do more.
If you have suggestions or ideas for body-neutral solutions, please share them! I believe we all can and should learn from each other.